I do not like to change my schedule. I like to know how, when, why, and where things are going to happen. When things get switched up, I get nervous (and a little freaked out sometimes). When expectation does not meet reality for me, I tend to get flustered.
But recently, God has been giving me opportunities that are pushing me out of control. That is something that I have really had to work on is letting God have total control of my life. I want Him to have control... but not too much. I still wanted to be able to hold the ropes and steer if needed.
I am starting to love not being in control! I am finding such freedom in knowing that God is in control and that He does not need me (that one has been the most freeing; to know that God does not need me, but He chooses to use me). The thought that I am not the most important thing in the world has changed my outlook on a lot of things, but it has really changed my thoughts on worship .
I love leading worship; it has really become my passion recently. I love seeing people worship and being a part of it. I used to get really nervous before I would play. I would worry about the notes, chords, structure, timing,... those are all things that I still work on, but when it is time to lead worship, all of that becomes secondary to the fact that I am facilitating in worship. I have been trying to be very transparent in leading. I do not want to have the band-front-man personal I want to lead in a way that people are drawn to God, not me! I have to give up control though to do this, because I am recognizing that it is not about me, how good I look on stage, or if the mix is perfect. The most amazing times of worship have been when I have the least control. A few weeks ago at Fusion, I did an intimate acoustic set in the middle. After we played the first set with the full band, I have literally almost lost my voice. I only had about 10 minutes to get it back before I had to go back out on stage with just my guitar and lead the next set of songs. I sat backstage and prayed that God would just take over; there was no way I was going to be able to do my "best" in that set. I gave up control, and God showed up. During that worship set, I invited people to respond as they needed. As I began to try to sing, people began coming down front to pray. After about one minute, the front of the stage was full of people. They did not come down because of anything I did, but because of what God did.
Kami and I are going today to a church nearby to sing for a revival. We just found out about it yesterday (just a few hours ago...). Someone that is on staff at school called us and asked if we would be interested in singing for this revival. We both really wanted to do it, so we said yes. I had to go change my RA duty night to be able to do this. Normally, that thought would have made me say, "sorry, I can't", but in the sense of stepping out in faith, I took the steps to get all that stuff worked out to be able to go sing. Everything worked out; there was no problem in getting someone to change nights with me. I am not sure what God is going to do tomorrow... I am not really even sure where the place is. but I am trusting that God will use Kami and me. Not because He needs us, but because He chooses to.
I am really starting to like not being in control... it leaves so much more room for God to just open up the floodgates and amaze me. You should try letting go...God has much greater things in store than you can even imagine
But recently, God has been giving me opportunities that are pushing me out of control. That is something that I have really had to work on is letting God have total control of my life. I want Him to have control... but not too much. I still wanted to be able to hold the ropes and steer if needed.
I am starting to love not being in control! I am finding such freedom in knowing that God is in control and that He does not need me (that one has been the most freeing; to know that God does not need me, but He chooses to use me). The thought that I am not the most important thing in the world has changed my outlook on a lot of things, but it has really changed my thoughts on worship .
I love leading worship; it has really become my passion recently. I love seeing people worship and being a part of it. I used to get really nervous before I would play. I would worry about the notes, chords, structure, timing,... those are all things that I still work on, but when it is time to lead worship, all of that becomes secondary to the fact that I am facilitating in worship. I have been trying to be very transparent in leading. I do not want to have the band-front-man personal I want to lead in a way that people are drawn to God, not me! I have to give up control though to do this, because I am recognizing that it is not about me, how good I look on stage, or if the mix is perfect. The most amazing times of worship have been when I have the least control. A few weeks ago at Fusion, I did an intimate acoustic set in the middle. After we played the first set with the full band, I have literally almost lost my voice. I only had about 10 minutes to get it back before I had to go back out on stage with just my guitar and lead the next set of songs. I sat backstage and prayed that God would just take over; there was no way I was going to be able to do my "best" in that set. I gave up control, and God showed up. During that worship set, I invited people to respond as they needed. As I began to try to sing, people began coming down front to pray. After about one minute, the front of the stage was full of people. They did not come down because of anything I did, but because of what God did.
Kami and I are going today to a church nearby to sing for a revival. We just found out about it yesterday (just a few hours ago...). Someone that is on staff at school called us and asked if we would be interested in singing for this revival. We both really wanted to do it, so we said yes. I had to go change my RA duty night to be able to do this. Normally, that thought would have made me say, "sorry, I can't", but in the sense of stepping out in faith, I took the steps to get all that stuff worked out to be able to go sing. Everything worked out; there was no problem in getting someone to change nights with me. I am not sure what God is going to do tomorrow... I am not really even sure where the place is. but I am trusting that God will use Kami and me. Not because He needs us, but because He chooses to.
I am really starting to like not being in control... it leaves so much more room for God to just open up the floodgates and amaze me. You should try letting go...God has much greater things in store than you can even imagine
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